Buddhist Concept of Friendship!!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010 by setgyarwalar

Some critics have a tendency to label Buddhism as a religion with supra-mundane goals, devoid of the concept of love and friendship for living in this world. But the Tripitaka furnishes us with ample evidence to prove that the Buddha considered living in harmony and friendship without disputes (Samagga Sammodamana avivadamana) an important human relationship based on love.

Metta or Loving Kindness envelopes much more than mere love. Etymologically the word Metta means the nature of a friend - (mittassa sabhavo). In other words, a friendly spirit which is edified, not only on love, but on loving kindness. In modern parlance, the word "love" has rather a cheap connotation, but Metta when taken in its real perspective encapsulates all the noble human feelings a person could shower on another." Metta (loving kindness), Karuna (compassion), Muditha (altruistic joy) and Upeksha (equanimity), which are known as Satara Brahma Vihara or the Four Noble patterns of behaviour form the very sheet anchor of Buddhist friendly, ethical conduct. The spirit of love and friendship promulgated by these, cover a much wider spectrum than mere love, which is supposed to be lacking in Buddhism.

It is mentioned in Samyutta Nikaya that once Ven. Ananda approached the Buddha and remarked that "half of the dispensation is based on friendship, companionship and association with the good." to which the Buddha replied " Ven. Ananda, do not say so. Not half, but man's entire life is established on friendship, companionship and association with the good."

The friendly disposition among the Bhikkus towards each other was so admirable and imitable that King Ajatasattu who was not so well disposed towards Buddhism had remarked according to Samananaphala Sutta of the Digha Nikaya that "the monks lived in unity talking to each other with mutual friendliness ..... mixing with each other like milk and water and seeing each other with pleasing eyes." (Nirodha Ki Dhuta annamannam Piya Cakkhuhi Sampassamana) and had even gone further and said, "How nice it would be if my son Udayabhadda too could possess these friendly qualities."

Again, it occurs in Majjhima Nikaya that once the Buddha questioned Ven. Anuruddha how the Bhikkhus were getting along with each other, and the Venerable replied thus, "Lord, we have diverse bodies but assuredly only one mind." (Na na hi kho pan a bhante kayam ekam ca kho manne cittam).